Kinksters often discuss the difference between real and fake Dominance, between the good and the bad, ect. All of those things are subjective, and in my little world, I differentiate the two between whether or not power exchange is a noun or a verb for someone.
A noun, names something. A verb, names an action.
I don't like one-way power exchange. I don't like the idea that there isn't some give and take. There are a lot of different examples of what I mean. I think brats get a bad rap, but I respect them a lot. I think they take the idea of power exchange as a verb to the extreme, it's an ebb and a flow, and it's a really fun dynamic to watch. Another good example is the end The Secretary [SPOILER ALERT] after she's sat waiting for him for 3 days, and he carries her home and bathes her and dotes on her and takes care of her. He is giving back power in those moments, the same power she then returns back to him. An ebb and flow. Primal also fits as an ebb and a flow.
Power exchange shouldn't be one way - one time. It should circle back and forth. A constant push-pull. A constant challenge to one another. It's fucking boring when it is one way. I have lived that life once, and it's a whole other story, and fuck that.
@Grace619 replied to one my writings and said,
" He wanted to use a sub for sex and then they would be caged. I kept thinking, how basic bitch is this? There was no intellectual or cultural stimulus, there was no challenge to grow--just to be there and bend over."
And it is basic. It's a fabulous example of Power Exchange as a noun. A description of playing roles with no meat, no potatoes, no anything that makes your heart race and your lungs catch fire. @RopeTigerDaddy wrote,
"The truth is that it's not hard to break someone. Not any harder than it is to stomp on an insect or snap a twig. But to what purpose? Give me a big enough stick and I can make most anyone scream 'RED'."
And this is another example of what I mean, this is a fine example of Power Exchange as a noun. A thing. A one-way street. No purpose.
I think a lot of Dominants who have no idea what they are doing for reasons of ego, confuse the two. Forcing it, and killing it. Reducing it to a mere name. An obligation sometimes too, if you will.
What I can take away from all of this brain gunk, is that - all of the things I am interested in - for the most part, involves a lot of power exchange. Not just submission, but a living breathing ebb and flow of intoxication between people.
And I am not interested in just playing a role.. I want it to want to grow feet. (Like plays do because they desire the stage.) I don't want someone to play me because they heard that I like to be hit hard, and they want to make me red. I want someone to play me because they want to play. I want them to bring me a challenge of sorts, wits, something sparkly. And I want them to handle their shit when I throw it back at them and int challenges - it's fun. Like a kinky game of chess. I want us our tingly toes. I want them to look at me with that little sparkle in their eyes when I'm thumbing the envelope wondering just how far it goes.
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/576428/posts/5610996