So many writings about sadism have aluded to or outright stated that its about breaking your masochist. There's a romantic notion that she wants to be broken and that she needs to be broken so we can put the pieces back together again. Its a fallacy fueled by ego.
The truth is that its not hard to break someone. Not any harder than it is to stomp on an insect or snap a twig. But to what purpose? Give me a big enough stick and I can make most anyone scream "RED".
The skill in it is driving a masochist right to the edge and then bringing them back and then doing it again. To be able to mix pleasure with pain to the point where they can no longer tell the difference. Where pain brings orgasms and orgasms are painful. That's the beautiful dichotomous paradox that I aim for. In fact there is no better compliment than someone telling me that they almost said their safeword.
Breaking takes only brute force. Its a lightning strike which tears down the tree - immediate and uncontrolled. But dancing that edge is like the rain which makes the tree grow but erodes rock little by little over time. One is rushed and the other takes its time. Which would you say is in control?
Sure some people want and need to be broken and people will line up to do just that. But most want to know you are capable of extreme violence but able to restrain it, dance with it, and make it your bitch.
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/7705653/posts/5610688