One of the common misconceptions about the D/s world is that there is some kind of intrinsic hierarchy out there. That submissives (almost always women) are inherently subservient, inferior, less informed, or less experienced than dominants. This is perpetuated in erotica, and common (but unrealistic) fantasies: when was the last time that you read a story about an experienced submissive male introducing a vanilla woman to the world of kink, and having her find her way as a whip-wielding, leather-booted dominatrix? No, instead we get fucking Christian Grey. We see it too in the insta-domly-doms, the guys (and they are always guys) who find this world, identify with the left side of the slash, and instantly believe that anyone with submissive in their description owes them obedience.
This is not how things work.
First and foremost, no one owes you (and you don't owe anyone) submission. Submission is, at it's heart, an extreme form of respect. Like respect, it's earned and must be maintained. It may be revoked at any time. Just because someone has submissive next to their name doesn't make them your submissive, and just because someone has Dominant next to their name doesn't mean you owe them "Sir" at the end of a sentence.
The lack of hierarchy goes further than this. I know submissives who have more experience than many dominants. At my last play party, I watched a man who is submissive only to his partner florentine a girl on a cross, and let me tell you, that dude knows what he's doing on the giving end of a beating. Is he "above" another sub? "Below" me, as a D-type? Nah. He's just another dude, who extends his submission to a woman he deeply respects, and who earns respect from people who choose to give it to him.
I have a girl who extends to me the respect of calling herself my submissive. She knows what she's doing. She leads several local groups. She mentors D types who are new to the community, and she has the respect of many other folks on the left side of the slash. She will probably earn leather, if we choose to walk that path, before I do. And yet she gives her submission to me.
And yeah- I've been doing "these things we do" for a long time. Does that make me a "higher level" dominant than anyone else?
No way.
Maybe I have things I could teach someone. But I have a lot to learn, too. One of my best friends here is relatively new to the scene. Way newer than me. But if I want to learn how to better use a whip, he's the man I'm going to turn to. He knows them far, far better than I do. So there isn't a hierarchy of D types either.
No one should ever tell you that just because they are older or have been doing this longer, they are above you.
Each of us have our own skills, experience, and abilities to bring to this table. The best thing that you can do for yourself here is to further yourself, develop skills in the areas that interest you, and keep an open mind and a sense of humility about the things you don't know yet.
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/2567510/posts/5600029