This is a follow on to my last post giving a basic look at D/s protocol. Some of you wonderful kinky people posed the very important question: What should protocol be based on?
For me, protocol is not some random expression of Dominance (or the act of a mad dictator). It is the thoughtful and purposeful extension of power exchange based on your core values as Dominant, intended to further one of the following five basic goals:
Let me give some examples:
You like your house kept clean and organized. It makes you more relaxed and you enjoy order and also love domestic service. You could just tell your sub to clean once in a while or perhaps they will just get on with it without you asking if that is their nature. But if you make a protocol about how often they clean, what outfit they wear while cleaning and have an official inspection when they are done, you eroticize the whole experience. Now you can show them how proud you are if they did well or give them a spanking if they missed a spot!
Your sub wants to be improve themself with more reading or art projects. But, they find it hard to motivate or keep to a steady routine and can fall into the Netflix wormhole.
By making a rule for how often they have to read, how long for, how many books a month and perhaps even the type of book, you as Dominant can use protocol to provide structure to behavior that will help them and also hopefully spark some interesting conversation!
I have a strong value of helping a partner in their journey as a submissive. To develop that I have protocols for them to do a few minutes of submissive poses morning and night to really feel into that part of themselves.
You believe in old fashioned politeness and love acts of D/s to show respect. To cultivate these, you could create protocols about how and when your submissive addresses you or is allowed to speak, use of honorifics like Sir/Daddy/Mistress etc. By enforcing the use of D/s capitalization in texting and emailing, you cement this value into every word they say or write.
You value D/s as a lifestyle and practice. Using protocols and rituals like kneeling, asking for permission to get in bed or use the toilet, eating or drinking first etc., you can make everything your submissive does at home an act of D/s devotion. I have a rule that my submissives eat on their knees on the floor next to me. It’s beautiful and hot and makes dinner much more intimate.
You believe that charity and helping the world is a wonderful and important thing to do. By giving your sub protocols where they do good work for a certain amount of time every week to help others in your name, your sub will be more useful in the wider community and you foster devotional behavior in your sub.
Many protocols can be for more than one of the reasons above at the same time.
Even though You as Dominant, make the protocols, it’s always wise to let the sub have some input about how and when they do the protocol to make them more likely to succeed and so they can express their own unique style.
To develop value based protocols- start by asking yourself and your partner what your values are. What is good or bad behavior to you? What qualities do you want to develop in yourself? What areas of life would you like to improve?
If protocols come out of answering these questions, you can be sure they will have the most positive effect for all!
If you tell each other WHY you want a rule or behavior it will be much easier to understand their importance and stick to them.
There are no right or wrong protocols if they come from your heart with an intent to grow and deepen together. If the rule doesn’t work, then patiently and understandingly try to find a new protocol to express the same value.
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SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/2536932/posts/5472075