There are a lot of questions about D/s protocol. Having taught on the subject, I have found all kinds of interest, confusion, concern, doubt and even hating!
This article is designed to be a simple starting guide to protocol with some examples you might try if interested and some tips and tricks to make the most of it.
Here is my definition of protocol:
“D/s protocols are rules created by a Dominant to control the behavior or actions of a submissive.”
Here are some examples:
The submissive must work out 3 times per week for at least an hour each time.
When in the presence of the Dominant, the submissive must ask permission to use the toilet.
The submissive must show the Dominant all messages on Fetlife and ask permission to write to anyone.
Ok, so why in the actual F would you?
D/s outside of the bedroom is a beautiful thing! Power exchange is not for everyone but for those of us who get a taste of it, it’s addictive, fulfilling, intimate and erotic.
Protocols allow you to turn that power exchange into constant daily actions that demonstrate the dynamic. The Dominant can control their sub’s clothes, speech, body, daily habits, and shape their life towards whatever they want from them.
In my case, I want my submissives to look a certain way, express their devotion and obedience in service, and make sure they start and end their day knowing they are mine. Protocols are an exceptional way to build that connection.
As a sub, If you want a discipline in your life, protocols provide structure and a system of reward and punishment for good and bad behavior.
Warning- don’t do protocol...
If you don’t really want someone else controlling your life, this ain’t for you!
If you don’t have the time or energy to administer this level of control on another- best not to do protocols as it’s a lot of work!
If power exchange just isn’t your kink, or you prefer it just in the bedroom.
So you want to try out this whole D/s business....but where should you start?
Start with just 1 or 2 easy protocols. Ideally something that is just once a week or when you are together. Make sure the sub doesn’t just agree but gives really enthusiast consent! Don’t pick things that they have to do all the time like peeing or eating to start. Talk lots. Set up a schedule. Tell them what the punishment will be if they don’t do it. Make sure you talk about who is going to check in and when. Be consistent and touch base often on it- Does it feel good? Is it being done right? Are both parties happy and into it? If not, don’t make it about failure- just try a different one. Make sure the protocol lines up with schedules, physical ability and other practical life stuffs. Use a diary or shared tracking system on your phones. Dominants, please remember to both punish and praise! Spoiler alert - a sub might hate the punishment but will love you for caring enough to do it! Second spoiler alert- subs need lots of attention and compliments when they do well!
PLEASE ALWAYS Keep it fun and playful!
Here’s an example of a shit protocol:
No matter where they are, submissive will ask Dominant before they can eat.
Sounds hot huh? The desperately obedient submissive waiting diligently for their Dom’s approval to take single morsel. I give it 2 days of busy work life with no quick response from the Dom and low blood sugar to unravel! Now, if this protocol was only in effect when they are together it would be a fantastic protocol!
Here’s an awesome one:
When going out, submissive will always hold door open for Dom with their eyes down while the Dom always walks through the door first.
It’s super controlling and will really make everyone feel the power exchange. But, It’s going to be hard to remember so there will be some spanking for a while until the sub gets it perfect- Fun!
The only way to find out if protocol is right for you as sub or Dom is to try it!
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SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/2536932/posts/5460280