[The following ramble written as an off-the-cuff advice post for someone in a Reddit thread asking for some general pointers and advice regarding anal sex. After sending the document, I did a little polishing up and thought it would make a good addition to my profile here, so... enjoy!]
So, you want to engage in anal play, but don't know how to do it? Keep reading. If you're looking for advice on how to get your partner to CONSENT to anal play, then I have another writing which may interest you here. What follows is a generic guide to the more salient points of butt-play, which I think may prove useful to beginners.
CHAPTER ZERO - SAFETY FIRST!
It should come as no surprise that anal sex can lead to anal injuries, and these should generally be avoided at all costs. In general, if you feel any pain during anal sex, this is your cue to slow down or stop what you are doing. Pain is your body's way of telling you that something is very wrong, and that your body does not want you to proceed. Be very aware of your own body, and listen to what it is telling you.
Anal bleeding is not uncommon during anal sex. A little bright red blood can sometimes be seen after a particularly rough session or if you have a pre-existing condition such as crohn's disease or irritable bowel syndrome. Provided that you aren't bleeding like a crimson niagra falls, you normally don't have anything to worry about, but it is still worth noting that you should probably be taking things a little easier, or that you need a little more (gentle!) practice.
With regards to anal sex, I cannot overstate how important it is to go gently when you're first learning how everything works. Some of the more experienced and talented practitioners get to the stage where they feel safe and comfortable in pushing the envelope a little in this regard, but for a beginner, I will always advocate on the side of caution and safety. Start with some light finger-play and teasing, rather than jumping straight into the deep end and running right into triple anal fisting.
Also - Always, always, always, always use lube, observe good hygiene, communicate clearly, and most importantly - have fun!
CHAPTER ONE - THE HYGIENE OF ANAL SEX
Many people are naturally hesitant to engage in anal play because they are afraid that they might cause a mess. Of course, this is a completely understandable concern, but there are a few routines that you can follow to minimise the likelihood of any unpleasant "accidents," and they are detailed below. It is worth noting that unless you have some very specific fetishes, you might find these procedures a little uncomfortable and unpleasant... Or even outright gross. They are the dirty groundwork that paves the way for the amazing fun you'll have later.
a) The 'impromptu' routine.
This technique is best utilised in situations where unscheduled anal sex is being performed in the heat of the moment on a whim. As a result, it requires the least amount of prep-work, but is also one of the least effective techniques. As such, if you have any advance warning whatsoever, you are best to employ the techniques further below. Simply put, the 'impromptu' routine is to make sure that the penis or toy going into your asshole is covered by a condom. This will protect it from any unpleasant 'mess' that may be waiting inside. If a man gets a substantial quantity of fecal bacteria lodged into his urethra, it can lead to a painful urinary tract infection, and this can easily be avoided by having him wear a condom. Similarly, care should always be taken to ensure the hygenic condition of your toy collection.
b) The 'wait just a few minutes' routine.
This technique takes a little longer, but is probably considered the minimum hygiene routine for most anal sex practitioners. It is best for situations where you might have as little as half an hour to forty five minutes notice before anal play is expected, and consequently, there is not enough time for a more thorough cleansing routine. Firstly, make sure that your bowels are empty, and then follow this up with a few rinses using an anal douche. Anal douches are basically a rubber ball with a little nozzle on one end, which can be used to fire warm water into your bowel to flush out any additional fecal matter which may be lingering within. This technique utilises only a small quantity of water, so will only really flush out the rectum, rather than the entire large intestine. Since the rectum is the area that you will be using for anal sex, this is usually sufficient for safe, hygenic play. Essentially, keep flushing out your asshole with repeated injections of warm water until the water runs clear. If it has been a while since you last performed this technique, then you may find that this takes a little longer. A condom is still highly recommended, but the risk of an unprotected penis developing a urinary tract infection is already significantly reduced, particularly if the man in question washes his penis thoroughly immediately after play.
c) The "full cleanse" routine.
This technique goes further than all of the others above, and can take hours to complete. It is best reserved for situations where anal sex has been planned days in advance, and you know that you have all the time in the world to prepare. Start by managing your eating habits 24-36 hours in advance of your sexual liason. Try to avoid heavy foods or foods with natural laxative properties such as indian or mexican cuisine. Soup is always a safe option, as most of the material in soup is likely to be expelled as urine instead of faeces. In general, this is not 100% required, but is very useful in ensuring that the later cleansing stages will be quick and without incident.
When the time comes to actually begin your hygenic preparations, begin emptying your bowels as above. Afterwards, you should follow up with a full cleanse of the large intestine through repeated enemas. This can be done in the old fashioned way with an enema bag and a whole lot of patience, but this is time consuming, slow, and uncomfortable. Personally, I would recommend using a specialised shower hose and nozzle as this is much quicker, easier, and simpler. However, if you are using a specialised shower-head, be sure not to turn the pressure too high, as the inner lining of your rectum is quite delicate, and firing a pressurised water stream into it can cause damage.
The idea of the enema is to flood your body with water until you feel your abdomen beginning to cramp, and then to expel the water into the toilet. Always fill yourself with the same quantity of water on each repeated rinse, to ensure that you are cleaning to the same depth each time. This can be done by filling the enema bag with the same quantity of water each cycle, or turning the shower to the same pressure for the same amount of time with each rinse.
Continue rinsing yourself with repeated enemas until the water runs clear. At this point, you might feel strangely 'empty' and 'hollow,' but this is a normal reaction. Eating something normally remedies this feeling, and since you are now so close to your actual sexual liason, you can eat whatever you want without restrictions. Concluding your hygiene ritual with a thorough shower, including a thorough washing of the asshole with soap and hot water, is a good way to finish this routine.
This technique can be performed several hours before the scheduled sexual liason, depending on the speed of your own digestive tract. I have known some girls who could perform a routine not too different to this, and then been able to get blasted in the ass repeatedly over a full twenty four hour period without incident. In short, this technique is uncomfortable and takes a long time, but it has long-lasting results. Your innards will be so clean that the use of a condom is purely optional, provided that other birth control methods are in place. (Anal sex is not a foolproof method of contraception. There is such a thing as a 'drip baby.')
One safety concern worth mentioning is that this technique is best used SPARINGLY. I would not recommend performing this routine more than once a week at maximum. If, for example, this technique were performed daily, it could result in the intestines becoming stretched and distended, making peristalsis ineffective and resulting in chronic constipation. This would be compounded by the fact that never passing stool in the natural manner would eventually result in the body no longer being capable of doing so, as the muscles involved would become lax and loose.
So, to summarise once again, this technique has the best results, but should not be overused.
CHAPTER TWO - LUBES
When it comes to lubrication, there are a few qualities which you should consider. Firstly, they should be relatively thick, to ensure that they stay where they are supposed to. Secondly, they should be very slippery, so as to facilitate easy and pain-free penetration. Thirdly, they should last for some time, as sex is not an instantaneous process and can take a while, and finally, they should be compatible with the types of toys and/or condoms that you are using.
Lubes are basically chemical solutions - a mixture of solutes dissolved or suspended in a solvent. Depending on which solvent is used, we can split sexual lubricants into three distinct categories described below:
a) Water-based lubricants.
Water-based lubes are my personal recommendation to almost everyone. They are easy to use, low toxicity, easy to clean up, they won't melt your toys, they are condom-safe, and they do the job. You should always strive to find a lubricant which is as 'gloopy' as possible, and there are definitely a few water-based lubes which fit the bill in this regard. When I play with my play partner, I personally use a water-based lubricant called "super slik," which I would recommend as a good all-round water-based lube. However, the one downside to water-based lube is that it tends to dry out after a short while. Mileage in this regard largely depends on the particular lube, but it can be easily resolved by simply adding more lubricant. It is also worth noting that for beginners, saliva is not a suitable water-based lubricant.
b) Oil-based lubricants.
Oil-based lubes have the unfortunate side effect of melting most condoms, so this is something worth bearing in mind. Oil-based lubes are a good choice for people who don't want to have to deal with water-based lube continuously running dry. They are usually every bit as slick as their water-based counterparts, and are similarly priced. I will, however, say that most kitchen-available oils such as olive oil and baby oil are relatively poor lubricants. Thicker oils such as vegetable oil can be used in a pinch, and some people swear by coconut oil, but I would generally advocate in favour of using specially formulated oil-based sexual lubricants, rather than improvising too much. Especially when you're still a beginner.
c) Silicone-based lubricants.
Silicone-based lube is ultra-slippery, and never dries out. It is usually safe for use on toys, so long as those toys are not made from silicone-based rubber. However, it is worth noting that silicone-based lubes are a sheer NIGHTMARE to wash out of anything. Silicone is not soluble in water, so it can be very problematic to clean up if you happen to spill a bottle on the bedsheets. For this reason, I tend to lean more towards water-based lube, but silicone-based products are definitely a very viable and extremely effective choice which are definitely worth trying for anyone at any level of experience.
CHAPTER THREE - ANAL TOYS
When it comes to anal toys, there is a whole host of different toys to choose from, and I am sure that any eager anal enthusiast will want to try all of them at some point. Some of them are great additions to sex or masturbation, whilst others can be worn long-term under clothing, providing stimulation to the wearer whilst they go about their day.
When it comes to anal toys, there are lots of different materials that manufacturers like to use. Personally, I would recommend sticking to three materials - silicone, metal, and glass. Each of these materials have properties which make them very useful in the bedroom, but the unifying factor between all three is that they are very easy to clean, and they do not melt when they are placed in an autoclave for sterilising. If you do not have an autoclave, these toys can simply be put into a pot and boiled in water to kill any germs which may be colonising them. Some people even just throw their toys into the dishwasher, but I have little experience in this and cannot comment.
Silicone is a non-porous rubber, which means that it does not 'absorb' dirt, germs, smells, or other unpleasantness. It is a very clean and hygenic material which still yields and bends like rubber. It makes for some very comfortable and safe toys, which can be used for long periods without becoming uncomfortable. Silicone also has a very nice texture, and yields to your body in a way that the other two materials I have recommended cannot. Silicone can be a fairly high-friction surface, however, so a little extra lube probably won't hurt.
Metal, (I personally swear by stainless steel,) is a slick, hard material which is extremely easy to clean. It is safe for use with all types of lube, and is also very tough and resilient. It is also a low-friction surface, which works well for anal play, and is also very shiny and visually appealing. Some metal anal toys can actually be quite decorative.
Glass is one of those things that people would normally never think about putting up their asshole. Glass, seriously? What if it breaks? I don't want broken glass up my ass! However, most toys are made with a very tough, shatter-resistant borosilicate glass which is extremely durable and is hardly likely to break from the gentle stresses of sexual use. Another advantage to glass toys is that glass has a very high specific heat capacity. This means that if you heat up or cool down the toy, it will hold that temperature for quite some time. Depending on the volume and surface area of the toy, this effect can even last for hours. Having a hot or cold toy to play with can lead to some very interesting temperature play. Glass is also extremely easy to clean, it's virtually a wipe-clean surface, although proper washing and/or sterilising is still highly recommended. It is also very easy to spot any lingering 'mess' on a glass toy, should such a thing occur, since glass is transparent, and dirt is not.
Anal toys can take many different shapes and sizes, but a few of the most common types which are applicable to female anal practitioners are listed below:
a) Butt plugs -
A butt plug is a small, dildo-like toy which visually resembles an hourglass which has been tapered to a point or dome at one of it's ends. It is divided into three distinct components - the head, the neck, and the base. Some butt-plugs have ridges, nubs or other features to offer additional stimulation, and this is something that many users find to be advantageous. When worn, the head of the device is pushed through the anal opening and acts as an anchor, holding the toy in place whilst the anal ring closes around the toy's neck. The base serves the very important purpose of preventing the toy from being sucked into the body. For long-term wear, plugs which have narrow, T-shaped bases such as the njoy plugs, are most comfortable as these do not grate at the inner walls of the buttocks whilst walking or moving. Plugs with rounded bases are often described as being more visually pleasing, with some examples like "princess" plugs being designed primarily with visual appeal in mind. They're basically butthole-jewelry. Some even have love-heart shaped bases and other amusing designs.
When worn during sex, butt-plugs give the orgasmic contractions of the pelvic floor something to clamp down onto, intensifying certain sensations during climax. Butt-plugs are also sometimes worn for prolonged periods under clothes, giving the wearer a constant, teasing sensation throughout their day. Butt plugs can also be very useful in the process of anal training, such as in the simplified anal training regimen described below.
b) Anal beads
Anal beads are, just like they sound, a series of beads mounted on a string or on a fixed rod. When inserted, these beads "pop" through the anal opening, creating an interesting series of sensations for the user. Whilst the beads are inside the body, they create a pleasing sensation of fullness which many users find to be pleasurable. Additionally, just like butt-plugs, can be worn for prolonged periods of time, or even under clothing whilst the wearer goes about their day. Various different bead sizes and shapes are available, ensuring that users may experience a wide variety of sensations at their discretion. The insertion or removal of anal beads can be an intensely pleasurable experience, and many kinksters enjoy anal beads for more or less exactly this reason.
c) Anal hooks
An anal hook is an additional accessory for chain and rope bondage which visually resembles a rather oversized fishing hook. Sizes and designs vary, but they generally have a loop or "eye" at the straight end of the device, and a spherical bulb at the curved end. This bulb serves a similar purpose to the 'head' of a butt-plug, anchoring the device in place and ensuring that it cannot fall out, but also serves the purpose of increasing the surface area of the insertable end of the toy, preventing it from accidentally damaging the inner wall of the rectum.
Anal hooks can be very useful in certain types of bondage, particularly where the person being tied (robe bunny) has a fetish for anal play. I have seen some very interesting ties where a girl's hair might be tied to an anal hook to force her to arch her back downwards, or to even force her to walk around bent over, lest she lose her balance or not be able to see where she is going. I have also seen some ties where an anal hook might be tied to nasal hooks, but this is going a few steps further.
CHAPTER FOUR - ANAL TRAINING.
Anal training is the process by which an individual may acclimatise themselves to anal play. How far you take the idea of anal training is largely up to yourself, but it helps to set a goal for oneself before beginning. Do you want to be able to finger yourself without discomfort? Do you want to get fucked in the ass? Do you want to get anally fisted? Basically, pick a goal, and work towards it.
The general idea of anal training is to gradually, incrementally increase the size and frequency of the insertions that you take in your anus, and in so doing, train yourself to become more pliable and relaxed when engaging in anal play. Most forms of anal training revolve around anal masturbation, but some Dominants, Tops, Masters etc. prefer to take a more hands-on approach to the subject. With time, patience, and dedication, you can reach whatever goals you set for yourself. Like any other form of exercise, the key is consistency.
Some sex toy companies even sell anal training kits, which generally consist of three butt-plugs of incrementally larger sizes, which is a fairly cost-effective means of reaching the your goal.
For the sake of safety, it is always best to stop if things become painful, and not to progress too quickly.
A simple anal training regimen for solo practice is as follows:
Phase 1) Every time that you masturbate during this phase, you must use a single well-lubricated finger to stimulate the outer ring of your anus - training your brain to associate feelings of stimulation at your asshole with feelings of pleasure. Penetrate yourself a little now and again if you really feel like pushing the boat out a bit. When you feel comfortable with this, proceed to phase 2.
Phase 2) Every time that you masturbate or have sex, you must wear a comfortable, small butt-plug. No exceptions are permissable, and masturbation or sex should occur at least once per day to ensure adequate practice.
Phase 3) In addition to the stipulations set forth in phase 2, you must now wear the plug whilst sleeping. This should lead to some amusing dreams, so have fun!
Phase 4) All day, every day, you must wear your small plug. The only occasion when you may remove the plug is for the obvious biological purposes. If you choose to have sex or masturbate during this time, you must do so whilst wearing a medium-sized plug. This is the beginning of moving onto incrementally larger toys, a technique which forms the basis of this type of training.
Phase 5) In addition to the stipulations and rules described in phase 4, you must now wear the medium plug whilst sleeping. Have fun with those kinky dreams. If you find that you keep taking the plug out whilst sleeping, one good solution is to tie your wrists to the bedframe.
Phase 6) Replace your small plug with your medium plug. You must now wear the medium plug all day, removing it only for the obvious purpose of defecation. If you choose to have sex or masturbate during this time, you must do so whilst wearing a large size plug. At some point during phase six, you may feel comfortable to begin experimenting with penetrative, penis-in-anus anal sex, but I would normally recommend holding off on this until midway through phase seven.
Phase 7) In addition to the guidelines explained in phase six, you must now also wear the large plug whilst sleeping. By this point, you should be wearing the medium plug constantly during the day, and the large plug constantly during the night, and when engaging in sexual activity. At some point during this stage, you are probably ready to begin getting fucked in the ass.
Phase 8 and beyond) Feel free to continue incrementally increasing the size of your plug until you reach the goals which you set for yourself earlier in the training process. I'm sure that by this point, you can see the pattern in the above routine, so I'm sure that you can extrapolate further as required.
CHAPTER FIVE - CLOSING THOUGHTS
Well, that's the basics of butt-fucking. I hope that some of my ramblings have proven to be useful or enlightening, and I hope that you enjoyed learning what little I have to share. If you have any questions whatsoever, feel free to get in touch and I will do my best to answer.
Enjoy your anal abuse!
-Ious
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/5556552/posts/3697399