Why do so many male subs confuse horniness with submission?
Wanting to be dressed up like a maid is not submission. What does a woman get out of seeing you in a french maid's outfit?
Wanting to be "cuckolded" is not submission. It would be more accurate to say that you're a voyeur, and you want to see her have sex with other men. But once again, what's in it for her?
Offering to lick her pussy isn't submission. What could be more vanilla than licking pussy? Besides, most women can get sex and oral service anytime they want to. Despite what you may think, offering oral sex makes you sound more creepy than submissive.
Asking her to tease you about how small your penis is isn't submission. You may enjoy being humiliated, but how has doing so enriched her life in any way?
Begging to be "forced" to suck another man's cock is not submission. And let's face it, if you're begging her to do it, can it really be called "forced"? So stop using dominant women as an excuse to explore your bisexual fantasies. That too, is not submission.
The reality is that submission entails subordinating your wants and desires to the wants and desires of another. It's about what SHE wants, not what you want. So the moment you start inundating her with a list of your kinky demands, you've probably already disqualified yourself from being considered "submissive". Instead, what you've done is declare yourself to be a "do me" sub, and you've shown her that in your eyes, she's nothing more than a "service top".
You see, submission is about allowing HER desires to dictate your actions. That means that SHE should come up with the ideas/activities, not you. Its about what SHE wants, not what you want.
Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with having kinky desires. There's nothing wrong with being a "bedroom only" sub. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you want. But submission is about serving others, not about having others serve you.
Can a Domme do things for her sub? Certainly. And can a sub let his Domme know what he enjoys? Of course. In fact, the best relationships are those in which the wants/needs of both partners are being met. But the sub should also remember that the Domme/Dom is the leader in the dynamic, and as such, they should be respected as more than just a kink dispenser.
There's no right or wrong way to do D/s relationships. Each couple will have to determine for themselves what works best for them. But one thing that can probably be universally agreed upon is that spamming every Domme on the internet with requests to peg you with her strap-on doesn't qualify as submission in anybody's book. I just don't understand why so many male subs fail to realize that.
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/306579/posts/1335652