Many rope negotiation discussions seem to be top-driven: the top asks questions to the bottom and the bottom answers. This can work well, but as a bottom, I'd like to become more proactive in the negotiation process. I'm brainstorming a sample questionnaire I can keep handy on my phone, adapt as needed, email in advance and/or review the day of.
I'd love for this to be collaborative, so chime in if there's anything you'd add!
-- Why are you interested in tying me?
-- What kind of rope do you use?
-- How would you describe your style of tying?
-- What do you love about rope?
-- How long have you been tying, and how often do you typically tie?
-- What safety equipment do you keep handy when you tie?
-- Are you willing to cut your rope if needed? What tool do you have and where is it? Have you used it before?
-- Will there be photography? (If yes, where will the photos be shared? Will I be identifiable? May I review photos before you post them?)
-- Will there be other implements, equipment, or forms of play involved?
-- What are your aftercare needs?
-- Do you have any partners I should check in with before we tie?
-- What rope bottoms can I contact for vetting? (shh...rope bottoms have a secret underground network, but it's still good to ask for references)
-- What incidents/injuries have you had with previous ties and how were they addressed?
-- Is there anything else I should know?
-- I've been a rope bottom for (x duration) and on average get tied (x times per x).
-- What I love about rope:
-- Why I'm interested in tying with you:
-- Any ties that don't work well with my body:
-- Other tops you can contact for vetting:
-- Safewords/check-ins: (verbal & nonverbal safe words, how rope top can check in with me and how I'd respond to a check-in if ok/not okay).
-- Relationships:
-- I don't like to be touched the following places:
-- Kinds of touch I really like:
-- Kinds of touch I don't like:
-- Some positive signs that typically indicate I'm enjoying something:
-- Some negative signs that suggest you might want check in on me:
-- What "spacing" looks like for me, and how I monitor/communicate about possible safety concerns during:
-- Aftercare preferences:
-- Things I brought with me:
-- Allergies:
-- Current medications:
-- Medical conditions:
-- Injuries/body limitations:
-- My emergency contacts:
-- Previous rope injuries/incidents (things to consider including: what body part, how long ago it happened, basic description of tie, any lasting effects, whether fully recovered, any other relevant info)
-- Is there anything else you'd like to know about me?
-- What ties do you plan to do?
-- Have you done these ties before?
-- Will this be for practice or for play?
-- What safety equipment do you have on hand?
-- About how long will our tie last (will we be tying for 15 minutes? 3 hours? Multiple ties?)
-- Is it okay if I enter ropespace/headspace during our tie?
I am _____ (ok/not ok) with the following during our tie today:
-- Blindfolds
-- Hoods
-- Gags
-- Hair pulling
-- Nipple play (pinching, twisting, pulling)
-- Nipple clamps
-- Kissing
-- Licking
-- Biting
-- Tickling
-- Spanking
-- Pressure points
-- Breath play
-- Neck rope
-- Rope gag
-- Rope blindfold
-- Crotch rope
-- Nipple rope
-- Toe rope
-- Toys/implements/accessories/misc:
-- Nudity (how naked are we each getting?)
-- Any places I don't want to be touched today:
-- Physical: (any current soreness, muscle tightness, injury, weakness, illness, digestive issue, menstrual status, etc)
-- Emotional: (general energy level and emotional state)
How are you?
Helpful video of nerve anatomy all tops/bottoms should watch!
(Video courtesy of @IPCookieMonster)
https://youtu.be/u9-VzX9_pzg
@leo-sub and @-emme- for a great RopeSpace Rope Bottom Roundtable discussion and for how much heart your pour into your leadership
@ralphkramden25 for the idea to keep something like this on my phone
@IPCookieMonster for advocating for rope bottom education
@prettyplump and @VictoryatC for starting a constructive discussion in our local community
...And all of the rope tops & bottoms I've met along the way who have inspired & supported my journey, especially @GR3ND3L, @KnotOut, @GenreGirl, @LightBinder, @FotoArcade, @Bitches_Brew, @ThePrurient, @Crocoduck, @DaddyBitesHard, and @SirBito
SOURCE: https://fetlife.com/users/3612738/posts/3248971