Anonymous asked:
My daddy says if I use the safe word, I'm not worthy of His love. Is that His way of testing me, or should I be concerned?
dirtydaddythings answered:
If you aren’t using the safe word the moment he unzips, that reaction is out of bounds and a threat (ultimatum) that attacks your self-worth. While you shouldn’t want to give in easily, not respecting the time out of safe word usage is not, repeat NOT ok. There is only one reason to disregard the safe word and that is for personal lust for pleasure or power and that’s not the right kind of person to take up the mantle of Daddy.
If he really said ‘you’re not worthy of my love if you use the safe word’ i want you to take a look at that idea. What you do in bed is where his love comes from. Whoa now. Hold the hell on. You can fuck around all you want and never play around with the word ‘love’ but when you start using it as sexual blackmail.. no. That’s abuse.
Violating the safe word is rape. You’ve removed your consent. the situation has gone too far and regardless of what someone tells you: if things don’t stop when you say no then they have crossed that line no matter how far along things are when you do.
Violating the safe word is a breach of trust. Using it as a weapon is the same. It is vulgar to me to hear someone using safety as emotional blackmail for sexual gratification or to satiate some drive for abusive power.
YES. There are times you should push, but if you can’t physically do something, if you are in out of bounds pain then you MUST use the safe word and your Dom/Daddy/Sir is required to stop. That rule isn’t mine. It isn’t a ‘suggestion’. It is the core difference between BDSM and abuse. Crossing that line has no easy way back.
Am I being harsh? You’re damned right I am. That behavior gives men like me a bad name and I don’t take kindly to someone taking my position and covering it in shit. The safe word isn’t a joke. It’s not a game. It’s not a suggestion. It is the last defense against things turning dark. We may dance along the edge at times, but the safe word is what keeps ALL of this safe.
The safe word exists because things can go wrong without warning and of all the people involved in this kind of play, the Dom/Daddy is the one who is supposed to be in control of himself first.
Consider this carefully. Be sure you aren’t overreacting and have him explain what he means. It sounds to me like he’s crossing into dangerous territory and expecting you to mope along behind him because you’re a submissive… fuck that noise. You’re a human being first, and being submissive is somewhere WAY down the line of things you are in terms of importance.
If he really means that, that’s a shitty thing to stay to someone and a worse thing to push on someone. “I can’t love you if you say no”… translate it further to mean “i can get someone who will say yes’ and you start to really see what’s behind those kinds of words.
Talk to him. Listen to his answer. Explain how you feel and how that made you feel. Judge by his answer. You will know the truth even if it hurts. I hope this is a misunderstanding or just some inappropriate play dialogue but even then.. it’s worrisome to me. Be careful son.
kinkythingsilike wrote:
Say it again:
“Violating the safe word is rape. You’ve removed your consent. the situation has gone too far and regardless of what someone tells you: if things don’t stop when you say no then they have crossed that line no matter how far along things are when you do.
Violating the safe word is a breach of trust. Using it as a weapon is the same. It is vulgar to me to hear someone using safety as emotional blackmail for sexual gratification or to satiate some drive for abusive power. ”